Gerrard Reveals Benitez Criticism Nearly Drove Him from Liverpool After 2005 Champions League Win

Steven Gerrard calls the 2005 Champions League final the best night of his life.

But two months later, he announced he was leaving Liverpool before changing his mind overnight. In a Netflix documentary on the Reds' Istanbul triumph, Gerrard said he was in a bad place mentally, with his head like a box of frogs. He blamed criticism from manager Rafael Benitez for pushing him toward the exit from his boyhood club.

In May 2005, Gerrard captained Liverpool to one of its most famous wins, rallying from 3-0 down at halftime against AC Milan to claim the club's fifth European Cup on penalties.

Fans hoped the moment would secure his future amid interest from Real Madrid and Chelsea, then managed by Jose Mourinho. Six weeks later, Gerrard said he was leaving. Then he stayed.

"Mourinho was on the phone - the best manager in the world at the time, offering silly contracts, which would naturally turn your head. Chelsea were spending fortunes, he was guaranteed success there," Gerrard says.

"I can't park my relationship with Liverpool. When they came, I didn't know which way to go. Mentally, I was in a bad place. My head was like a box of frogs."

Benitez's demeanor made things worse.

"I felt like he didn't rate me, he didn't trust me, he didn't want me," says Gerrard, 45.

"I've always been clear that I want to be a Liverpool player and a Liverpool player only, but with that doubt and with that coldness and being part of a team where you don't believe that you can compete at the top, that's when your head gets turned."

Former teammate Jamie Carragher says Gerrard needed an arm around the shoulder. "Rafa Benitez was never going to do that," says the Sky Sports pundit. "He's very unemotional."

Former players in the documentary describe how Benitez's criticism and focus on tactical details sometimes clashed with the squad.

Gerrard felt it most. "My game was about emotion, passion, desire, commitment, for the badge, for the bird, for the family," he says. "It was in me and I felt like he wanted to really remodel me. Nothing would ever satisfy him."

Benitez, 66, defends his methods. "When I joined Liverpool, there was a culture based on emotion," he says. "Football requires more than that. If you're really emotional, you don't find the way to success."

Time has healed the rift. Gerrard now calls Benitez the best coach he worked with.

A year earlier, another Liverpool academy product, striker Michael Owen, had left amid similar frustrations. Gerard Houllier was sacked in summer 2004 after Liverpool finished 30 points behind champions Arsenal.

Benitez, hired as replacement, met Owen, Gerrard and Carragher in Portugal during England's European Championship. "He was on me tactically," Gerrard says. "'I don't want this, I don't want that. You can't play in this team unless we trust you.' It was intense. And I was thinking to myself, 'I guarantee you, you'll need me before I need you.'"

Carragher says Benitez told the 2001 Ballon d'Or winner Owen to turn on the ball quicker. "That's absolutely what I was probably the best in the world at, at the time," says Owen, 46. "He certainly didn't go any way to convincing me to stay."

Owen joined Real Madrid for £8 million in August 2004. Benitez recalls the meeting differently. "You can see when you talk with someone if he's happy with the conversation," he says. "I think they were quite happy."